"The Dog that Used to Be Your Baby Will Become Just a Dog."

I read this statement in a parenthood-related article and it has haunted me ever since.

I couldn't imagine how this would ever be true of my beloved Tia (short for Tijuana-- border collie, border town). For the last 11 years, she has been through my ups and my downs and my good times and bad. She has been through thick and thin with me. Now the only thick and thin from her that I seem to notice is the layer of dog hair in my house.

Now, as I balance the baby on one hip and mix formula, I say, "TIA. OUT OF THE KITCHEN" and that is the extent of our relationship. I fling her the odd meal every now and again when her dad is gone to work, but I must admit that she is close to being a neglected dog.

I'm not proud of it. It's just the reality.

When I was still nursing, I would be sitting on a chair feeding the baby, when the dogs (I had one, and he had one, so now we have two) needed to go outside, I would figure out a balancing-act-of-a-way to somehow let them out. I saw something similar at Cirque de Soleil once, but our version involved much less makeup and far less firm of physiques. I would sit back down to feed the baby and the dogs would be barking outside for me to let them in. Like I need to give the neighbours another reason to hate us.

I use harsh (albeit empty) threats in my arsenal of bitchings at the mister when I needed to vent. "HAVING TWO DOGS AND A BABY IS TOO MUCH WORK WHEN YOU AREN'T HERE!"

I do love our dogs but the amount of cleaning that needs to be done really becomes apparent once you have a baby. It takes time away from things that you would rather be doing, yet it cannot be ignored for obvious reasons. Once the baby started crawling around and putting everything in her mouth, it became an obsession of mine to keep a "dog hair-free" environment. This is but a pipe-dream, but I just can't let it die.

The older of the dogs, as I mentioned, will be 11. Once she is gone, that leaves the juvenile delinquent, who has just turned 4. I can already predict the issues that I will face in standing my ground. Something something wolf pack -- "He doesn't need a friend. He can be the only dog." "I don't care that Eve loves the dog and wants another dog." "We have waited so long for this day and now we have no dogs. It's staying that way."

Here's a gift idea for new parents who have a dog... Get them a gift certificate for the damn dog to get groomed. They may not see the value in the gesture, but I assure you that in a few months, they will appreciate your foresight.