It's Called Labour for a Reason

Nobody says, "I went into fun at 4pm" or, "I had 16 hours of fun before I had a cesarean". That's because it's not fun.

For those of you who have never had the experience of labour, may I suggest doing sit-ups for 16 hours straight, and then multiply how bad you are feeling times a million.

Labour was 16 hours of personal time to reflect on all the things in my life that I used to think were painful. For 16 hours, my hubby paced back and forth at my bedside, holding a bendy straw to my lips so I could sip on ice water. By the time it was decided that a C-section would be the end to this saga, I had already sucked back 1 and a half tanks of nitrous oxide and was ready to smash the empties over my head. I had never been so silent for 16 hours of consciousness in my life; it hurt so bad I couldn't talk. I couldn't even curse. It was probably a nice break for everybody.

While I was getting ready for surgery, I felt the need to try and be funny with the nurses. I won't get into detail, but I made some stupid joke that was borderline inappropriate about being prepped. I mean, if this whole ordeal is painful for me, it may as well be painful for them too.

I was having contractions back to back, with no breaks, and no pain medication. For women that do this without drugs, I salute you. I actually think that you are insane, but that's just my opinion. A friend of mine had told me, "You don't get a medal for doing it without drugs." Amen. When that needle went into my spine and I lost all feeling from my chest to my toes, it was the most relief I had ever felt in my life. The miracles of modern medicine had saved me. Suddenly I felt regret for being annoyed at the anesthesiologist for telling me to "hold still" while she put the needle into my back. It was all worth it.

With a curtain separating me from the actual incision, I was re-united with my best friend/husband-to-be/love of my life, and I was myself again. We joked about the whole process with the surgeon. We laughed with the nurses. One of the doctors said, "I see his feet!" and we looked at each other and said "His?!?!" (we had a very strong inkling that we were going to have a girl). "I don't know why I said 'his'!" she added frantically. It was a few short minutes later that we got to meet the whole reason for this whole ordeal. And it was a little baby girl.