Pregnancy in a Small Town

"When are you due?", "Do you know what you're having?", "Are you excited?", "HAVE YOU PICKED NAMES??"

These are four phrases you shall never hear leave my mouth again. Once you're pregnant and hobbling around uncomfortably, trying to negotiate store aisles and doorways, these 4 questions are seriously enough to put you in the loonie bin. I guess I can be happy that I was never asked, "Who is the father?", or "Are you pregnant?" It can always be worse.

The timing of my pregnancy was sort of bizarre. I had worked with the public in the same business for over 8 years. When I was ready to move on to other things, I quit my job only to learn 5 days later that I was pregnant. A recovering workaholic/self-professed workplace martyr, I decided that I would, for the first time in my life, lay on the couch and do nothing for the next 7 months of my life until the baby came. I would like to tell you that I ate fruit and did yoga and that my house was clean every day. Moving on.

Consequently, the other comment that I used to get, and am still getting to this day is the exuberant, "I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT YOU WERE PREGNANT!?!?". This is a weird comment to try to acknowledge. Maybe this is something that is best discussed with your girlfriends over tea. "I didn't even know Stacey was pregnant."

The best part about living in a small town is when you go to the hospital to deliver your baby, you already have established a personal relationship with 99% of the healthcare providers. You have already drank beer with them, troubleshooted their cell phone, sold them the next size up in jeans when they gained that last 10 pounds, given them dirty looks in the bar in the washroom, and sometimes, all of the above. I have to tell you that as socially uncomfortable as it could have been, if you embrace it, it's actually hilarious. Even the dirty look exchanger girl was really nice to me when she was our nurse (I'll call her "our" nurse, since the reason why I was giving her dirty looks was because she was hitting on my hubby). Deep down, she was probably enjoying seeing my stretch marks but she was very professional and very nice in the end. Let's face it-- her boyfriend used to flirt with me when I was single and I sort of enjoyed it. I never said I was a saint.